Human Nature

Every human being is different in nature
Some are creative, some enquisite and some  Indifferent.


The Indifferent ones are the cold ones,
Untouched by any surge of emotion,
Just like the solitary rock in the middle of the stream,
Staying cold as ever inspite of the repeated and gentle strokes of the streams.


The Indifferent ones are as cold as Rock,
Neither understanding the joy of life nor the sorrow of death,
The heart as icy as could be and head hot as molten lava,
Neither melting with compassion nor understandable with love.

Some thoughts are beyond their comprehension,
Or they just pretend to be an idiot,
Heart staying tough and mind hollow,
Neither they understand anything nor they do as said,
Really, the indifferent ones.

Jyotsna “Nivedita”

Long Distance Relationship

Only trust, honesty
Care and  loyality can
Keep the relationship alive
In a long distance relationship.
The feeling of separation
Overtakes the mind and
Can’t be erased just by
Meeting once or twice in a month
It takes a lot of effort
To remain together
All what is missed is
the presence the cuddles
Making love, hugs
kisses and the warmth
Of togetherness everyday…

Jyotsna”Nivedita”

Evening

Rivers and drains have become silent,
The birds are back to their nest,
The Sun is playing hide and seek,
Reflection of which can be seen in water

Evening is supine,
The red shade of memories have gone dark,
The sound of blowing Conch from the temples could be heard,
The flame of lamps have turned golden

The hoofs of returning cows create clouds of dust,
Everything adds to the vibrant vivid golden red shade of the sky,
The retreat of last rays of twilight announce the coming of night

The longing in the heart goes strong,
With the loud melodious horn of peacock,
Thoughts wander in the heart of the beloved,
For the passion and pain the Evening holds. Jyotsna “Nivedita”

Last Few Days #Part2

I am amazed at the sequence of events that unfolded. The hapazard turn of events is quite unimaginable for a layman. On 27th April, my temperature was 104 and SpO2 at 96. On 28th April it was 101 and n 29th 102. On 30th too the fever did not subside. Along with paracetamol, I was also taking steroids. The dose of steroids were increased gradually with each passing day. In the test done on 30th April, my report of Covid was negative.

On the night of 3rd May, my SpO2 dipped to 46 but gradually improved to 79. I was informed that it has to be maintained above 90 otherwise it is an immediate case for ICU. My HRCT score was 17, it was past 12 midnight but I could not bring the SpO2 above 80. Co-ordination with doctors was established and calls for SOS were made to every possible place. Neither was there any bed available nor was any provisional oxygen cylinder available. The state of helplessness felt was deafening.
The saturation came in mid 80s a hour later. In the morning, the term flowmeter, regulator and high flow mask were learnt for the first time. Cylinder and all these things were procured in a panic state from different sources. Things were with us by 9am but no one was there who could fit them and make them work. It was ultimately 10am that we managed to get it set-up by someone. The cylinder was exhausted within two hours. We were back to square one. Then started the rush for procurement, arrangement and re-filling and it seemed to be a long process. The sorry state of affairs of the Government was totally exposed. I appeal to the Government to improve the situation of oxygen supply and medical facilities so that no one has to undergo such mental trauma.

In this one month’s journey, I have seen a lot of ups and downs but happy note is that I am already on the road to recovery. The process seems very slow, saturation has somehow reached 92 and the goal is 94. I have been benefited with nothing except the steroids. More than 800mg of steroids already being taken by me orally and by injectables. With gradual reduction in Steroids, I am facing new problems every day, weakness and lethargic are the new words added to my life for the moment

Weight gain is another issue I have already started facing .. I am bloating like a balloon 🎈 😂

Positivity is a part of me and my strong will and determination will let me jump on my feet very soon and start my daily chores as before..!

Concluding my blog with a ray of hope.. Hope of recovery and peace Let’s pray for all those people struggling and fighting with this invisible demon… Jyotsna “Nivedita”

Last Few Days “Death”

Hello Friends, How are you? I was away for a while as I was fighting with our new invisible virus 🦠 demon friend COVID

From last one year I haven’t visited anyone, nor has anybody visited us but how it entered our house is still a mystery. On 16th April my Father- in- law was inflicted with cold, cough and his eyes were red. It alarmed me and with the consultation of the Doctor we started his medication, to avoid his doubt and tension we decided not to tell him and treat him secretly.

We told him it’s a mild flu as he is nearly 90 yr old. His Heart conditions are not very good and he can’t do anything of his own. After his reports came positive, I did not allow anyone near him and personally took care of him. All the family members were isolated as everyone was infected by that time. While nursing him, I got infected so badly that on the 16th day he was cured but my situation got worst. I went for test, as it was my 13th day, my COVID report came Negative but I was still in high fever, 103-104 for constant four days. On the fourth day my oxygen spo2 level started dropping below 78 and all day it remained 87-88. At night it dropped at the level of 48 and I got unconscious.. This is the moment when I was sleeping and in my subconscious mind I saw a shadow who was pulling me towards him and I magnetically got swayed away, sleeping in his lap.

Suddenly I heard a voice of my daughter screaming “Mumma” and she shooked me. The eco and the anguish in her voice created the force to pull me back from the Demon’s lap, instilling the life in me. I saw her sitting beside me with her Dad and calling Doc for help. I was dying but as we all know “Doc is the God on Earth” my Brother Dr. Prashant Rai and Our family Doctor Dr. Ashwani Mehta called up and started the medication but the biggest problem what we faced was organising oxygen cylinders for survival and after the fight of eight days I am on the Path of Recovery. Steroids are being reduced and injectables removed, I am now managing to breath more than 6-7 hrs without oxygen support during the day.

Sharing the experience in few lines with you all. I am grateful to the Universe and God for whatever I have today .. I can breathe and I am alive amongst my family 🙏

Fascinating it was

The soft tender arms 

Holding me tight,

embracing softly,

Cozily I was falling 

In the warm hug,

Smiling at me it said

Come darling! let’s go ..

I smiled and holded it back

Lazily sleeping and murmuring 

Wait! let me rest for a while..

Just like this in your lap.. 

Holding the waist carrased.. 

Minutes later it said 

Time to go baby .. ‘Come’

Suddenly I heard 

Deep anguished voice “Mumma”..

Loud voice shooked me and I saw

That shadow fading away 

I was craving for it more 

But the echo kept the shadow cast away .. 

Was it a dream or hallucination? 

I was happy and smiling .. ready to go

Unless that loud voice of my daughter 

Stopped me from going along 

I sensed the chilling wave once it left

I was cold to death..

“Nivedita” jyotsna